1 Sci-fi noir detective parody (such as Gun, with Occasional Music)
(Up to 4 other surrealistic sci-fi novels, to taste)
1 "modern Nancy Drew" mystery movie on ABC Family (sorority subplot flavor)
1 episode "Whose Line Is It Anyway" (Ryan Stiles in Braveheart skit flavor)
Combine ingredients in brain; mix thoroughly.
He played the dames like bagpipes: He squeezed them hard, and what he heard wasn't pretty.