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05 January 2009 @ 09:59 pm
Bring out your red! Bring out your red!  
... pens, that is.

Okay, I've written a fanfic. Currently, it's in a very rough draft form. I am not leaning onto anyone to read it, but I would certainly appreciate anyone who would be willing to read it and give me feedback, particularly suggestions for improvement.

Anyone who's interested should leave a comment to this post, email me, or IM me. I currently have the entry in a filtered post, and only people who explicitly request access will be able to see it. (Anyone who requests or has requested .rtf or Word97 format can expect to receive that under separate cover but should also have access to this version.)

Basics: It's Stargate: Atlantis fanfiction, with Doctor Who crossover. It's a romance, and I would rate it somewhere between G and PG. Tame stuff, in other words. Anyone not caught up with DW Season 4 or SGA mid-season 5 should probably stay away (except for those who enjoy being either spoiled or bewildered).

Excessive story headers of TMI-ness and link to the locked post under the cut.

Title: The Longest Three-Week Day Part 1, Part 2
Genre/Fandom: SGA/DW crossover
Author: michelel72
Word count: ~17,000
Pairings: Rodney McKay/Donna Noble, plus canon pairs and suggestions
Rating: PG for language? Possibly G
Warnings: Just some kissing and mild cursing, plus a breakup of a canon couple
o SGA: Starts somewhere after 5x16 "Brain Storm"
o DW: Starts after 4x13 "Journey’s End"
o For all I know, may now or eventually conflict with SGA after "Vegas", SG-1 post-series (movies), DW after "Journey’s End", Torchwood after S2, or Sarah Jane Adventures after S1 … but should be consistent with anything before those points, aside from some should-be-clear tweaking to enable crossover.
Disclaimers: Assume the position. I mean the standard.
o This is a My First Fic, so: I’m sorry. Also, that title? Yeah, I know.
o If you don't know both the Stargate 'verse and the (new) Doctor Who 'verse pretty well, you will be sore confused.
o Despite all appearances, no, neither Strunk nor White shot my pa.
Credits: Inspired by a comment by xparrot at her journal. Betas TBA.
Summary: Another day, another “science conference” gone horribly wrong. For once, Dr. Rodney McKay gets help saving the world … but then Donna Noble Remembers.

What am I looking for?

Everything ... sorta. I don't like the title; any suggestions? If I have to break it in two, as LiveJournal demands, is there a better place than the one I chose? (One horizontal-line earlier?) Does anything violate canon? Where do the character voices slip? What's clunky or just didn't work? Is there anything that works particularly well or that would with a slight modification?

I write stuff, but I am not A Writer. Analyses on a more meta level (story-shaping, plot arc, language-as-tone-shaping) would therefore be very much appreciated, because I have no idea at all when it comes to those areas.

As the headers suggest, I am aware that my punctuation choices in the story are ... not typical of formal communication. I really am capable of punctuating a sentence normally, so if you're in doubt about a certain bit of punctuation, I may have done it intentionally -- but if it doesn't work, certainly feel free to say.

I don't know what else to say here; I don't want to hector, and I clearly don't know the process. So: allons-y -- and thank you very much!

Current Mood: creativecreative
mabfan (Michael A. Burstein)mabfan on January 6th, 2009 04:13 am (UTC)
I'd be interested in reading it, but I have to warn you that I don't read a lot of fanfic, and I'm very busy at the moment...
michelel72: DoctorCatmichelel72 on January 6th, 2009 05:55 am (UTC)
I somehow hadn't figured you for a fanfic reader. I've added you to the access list, and I think you in particular would have a good sense for structural stuff, but -- if you don't have a lot of time, and wow do I ever understand that -- you can feel free to wait; I will post the final version more openly here. Your choice -- and thanks for the interest!
Nomignomi on January 6th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
I'd love to read it!
michelel72: DoctorCatmichelel72 on January 6th, 2009 07:29 pm (UTC)
You should now have access, m'dear. Thanks!
Nomignomi on January 6th, 2009 07:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'll put it at the top of my online "to read" queue!
aurora_novarum: Snoopy Typingaurora_novarum on January 6th, 2009 04:08 pm (UTC)
Sent my marked up copy back. Hopefully you'll still want to speak to me again after reading it all.

Good luck with the story!

I definitely look forward to reading *more* stories from you. :-D
michelel72: DoctorCatmichelel72 on January 6th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, do not fear my not wanting to speak to you! My goodness. (You're fast!) I've only read your email so far, not the marked-up copy. I think you have a good point about certain things; others I'm not sure I agree with (or am not sure I could pull off) but certainly appreciate the perspective. (And thank you for including positive specifics so that I'm not weeping in my keyboard!) I'll follow up in more detail later, once I've had a chance to process the marked-up copy, probably by email. Thank you so much!

(And oddly, this out-of-nowhere fic kind of stalled my other four, which are seriously dark stuff and just odd anyway, so we shall see whether I manage to finish anything else this decade ....)
aurora_novarum: daniel teddyaurora_novarum on January 6th, 2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
others I'm not sure I agree with (or am not sure I could pull off)

No, you should definitely follow your vision. It's your story. Like I said in the email. I just do a poking critical perspective as food for thought to be considered or dismissed as need be.

(But from what I've read...I have no doubts you could pull *anything* off writing-wise).

so that I'm not weeping in my keyboard!

Oh noes! Don't do that at all. Because there is so much stuff I was reading and going Wow! about.

Dark and odd can be good.