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08 March 2009 @ 11:33 am
Agonizing over impulsiveness  
I would say I'm not normally an impulsive person, but I don't think anyone can be summarized quite so cleanly.

When it comes to buying things I like, I have certainly shown an impulsive streak. (I try to do "the research" for things like electronics, automobiles, and houses; but when there's no One Right Choice, I tend to lock up, flail, and choose based on fairly random criteria.)

On the other hand, I try to be moderate about starting an involvement with something. I poked around SGA fandom for a while before leaping into the deep end, and I've tried to be careful about just how far afield I take even that; I generally look for recommendations and reviews before getting into new narratives (movies, TV shows, webcomics, books, what have you). When it comes to actual physical involvement, I really tend to hang back. A lot of that is due to a collection of social anxieties -- for example, if I'm at any kind of gathering or event, I tend to feel lost and stressed if I'm not attached to other people I know. I only went to the past two Arisias because I knew I could hang out with good friends.

I also don't tend to just up and travel impulsively. I did spend one October weekend in San Francisco on what amounted to little more than a whim, but that was very atypical of me. I usually take trips only for specific reasons with much advance planning. (It doesn't help that flying is entirely too much of a hassle lately, with the Slapdash Security Regulations of Inanity and the occasional goose-in-the-engine event, and there's only so far I'm willing to drive, and trains take as long as driving while costing as much as flying, and my one long-distance bus trip Will Not Be Repeated.)

And yet ... I only just heard about Writercon a few days ago, and I'm seriously considering going. Even though, as far as I know, I won't know anyone there from RL, and so far I only even recognize two attendee names from SGA fandom.

Basically, I just plunged into a fandom for which canon just closed, and I haven't been this invested in something outside my Original Fic of Eternal Stalledness in years; this may be my only chance to meet like-minded folk before they drift off entirely into other fandoms that I'm not (yet) interested in. It sounds as if there will be a whole mess of "how to write" and "how to beta" panels and discussion. All of my writing-axis knowledge is self-acquired, from the dozens of "how to be a writer" books I absorbed as a teen and from years of reading books and (lately) fanfic -- I've been wanting a slightly more formal environment for a while now.

I'm pretty much trying to talk myself into it, I think. If it were in New England, I'd have registered by now, just because it sounds so cool. But when I add airfare and the whole "taking time from work to up and travel halfway across the country" ... it just seems both random and indulgent. It's not that I can't afford it; I just feel weird about it!

Then again, both violetcheetah and my mother are encouraging me to go. It sounds fun. I'll probably go. ... I think. (heh)
Current Mood: weirdweird
Grey Lupousgreyias on March 8th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC)
You should come! :D My main reason for wanting to come, outside of the people that are going are that the panels sound so interesting. I mean, they're geared toward our kind of writing *g* I can't imagine hanging out with a bunch of other writers for an extended weekend and not picking up at least one thing.

I hope you seriously consider it, it sounds like it's gonna be a blast!
michelel72: SGA-John-Hugmichelel72 on March 9th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
But I should ... but ... okay! (Yeah, I'm pretty easily persuaded. Hee.) Yeah, this con just sounds so very perfect for what I'm looking for, it seems foolish to pass it up, really. It'd be irresponsible not to go!

So for badge name -- are you planning to use your real name, LJ nom, or other? I've done two cons as an adult, one using my real name and one using my LJ; frankly, no one would recognize the former, as compared to the few people who might have a shot at recognizing the latter, so I'd be inclined to use my LJ nom. But Arisia was pretty much anything-goes for badge names; I don't know if there's a norm for Writercon. So I wanna copy you! (I mean your example, not your, y'know, actual badge name. And, um, assuming we do get to meet over the weekend, just smack me if I fangirl you too much. You know, the John-smacking-Rodney-upside-the-head kind. :>)
Grey Lupousgreyias on March 9th, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
It'd be irresponsible not to go!

Yes. Think of the children.

As far as the badge name goes... I'm not sure what everyone else is doing, TBH. I went ahead and used my LJ name, since that's what people would be more likely to recognize. Usually at cons, if I've got the option, I use some variation of my pseudonym, since it's really like a nickname for me at this point. (I've used it since I was twelve... so even IRL if someone addresses me with it my ears will still perk up.)

And, um, assuming we do get to meet over the weekend, just smack me if I fangirl you too much. You know, the John-smacking-Rodney-upside-the-head kind. :>)

*snort* I'm sure you'll be fine. Trust me, nothing can beat my fangirly freakouts: "That's... that's Cliff Simon!" "Who?" "CLIFF SIMON!" "Who?" "Ba'al! Ba'al is sneaking through the autograph line. Why aren't you people freaking out?" "..."

Ah, good times.
michelel72: SGA-Rodney-Pensivemichelel72 on March 9th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, well if it's for the children ....

Anyway: The die is cast. I am now registered. I like the LJ name idea, and I later found that the website has a forum in which a few other folks weighed in on the same side, so I went with that. And now I have months to finish hyperventilating, heh.

My fangirl freakouts tend to be more like "eep! I mean, hi, squee-object-person! I mean, um, I need to go over there now before I slime you with squee! kthxbye! ::facepalm::" For I am a ginormous dork.

Anyway: Here's hoping to meet you at Writercon!
lyrstzha: Goddess: lanninglyrstzha on August 4th, 2009 03:04 am (UTC)
A lot of that is due to a collection of social anxieties -- for example, if I'm at any kind of gathering or event, I tend to feel lost and stressed if I'm not attached to other people I know.

You know, I kind of got that at first glance at the cocktail party, and thus sidled over in hopes of generating more friendly, comfortable, and welcoming vibes. I hope I pulled that off, rather than simply piling more anxiety on top of the heap. My heart is generally in the right place, but I fear that sometimes my enthusiasm may exceed my aim.

Which is to say, hi again! Obviously I have trailed you back to your journal, and, if you don't mind, totally intend to friend you. Because I'm friendly like that, and it was lovely meeting you. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to provide prodding/encouragement/reminder about offering up that story for sga_talk. Because I'm also a slave driver like that.
michelel72: Cat-Winry-Nestingmichelel72 on August 4th, 2009 03:33 am (UTC)
Oh, no, your hanging with and talking with me was a huuuuuuuuuuge help. Thank you! I'm the sort who hangs around other people, not the sort who gets hung around, so having someone to hang with really helped. (I was misreading people all weekend -- I tend to read people who are shy or don't know what to talk about as wanting me to go away but not wanting to say it.) You absolutely helped me not want to slink away from the party, and you were great fun on your own merits, so my many thanks for taking the lead!

And I want to submit my story to sga_talk, but my beta just confirmed that I got the characterization of one character about as wrong as I could without giving her a black goatee and an Evil League of Evil ("Ask Me How!") button, so I have to rewrite it first. But now I have motivation to get back into it and get it done! So that ... I can promptly be analyzed critically. Hmmm. Eep! (Hee.)

But anyway: Hi! Welcome! Friend away! I've now friended you. My journal name is pretty apt and I don't promise to be riveting, but feel free to poke around!
lyrstzha: Shiny Kaylee: annasiconnaslyrstzha on August 4th, 2009 05:53 am (UTC)
My pleasure! I'm glad I was help rather than hindrance. I try to use my social aggressiveness and inability to shut up for the forces of Good.

Good luck with the rewriting. Some characters are simply harder landings to stick than others, I think; I know there are definitely some voices that make me a lot more nervous to write than others. But I can promise that while I am honestly critical in my commentary when I'm opening the analysis threads over at sga_talk, I am also constructive and reasonably nice in how I phrase things. So far, the other comm members have proven likewise, thankfully.