So I enjoy fics of the "Five [x] I Won't Write" variety, in which the the author gives little snippets or capsule descriptions of cracky fic concepts. We were talking about the BSG finale, and how the show pretty much sealed up most Lee/Kara 'shipper avenues: The backstory is locked, most of the show timeframe is locked, she disappears at the end so post-show fic is blocked unless you bring her back somehow.
Which led me to the following BSG fics I will not write:
- Clap hard, Lee! Clap as hard as you can! If you believe hard enough, Kara will reappear! And hundreds of thousands of years later, the gestalt will convert that legend to Tinkerbell.
- Remix of the above: Clap and Kara reappears! Again and she disappears! Clap on, clap off, the Clapper! (That one was entirely ninjamonkey73's suggestion.)
- There's a missing scene at the end of the show, revealing that Hera is the original Tommy Westphall. It was all in her mind!
- Lee awakens to find Kara in the shower. It was all a dream! The show continues from there however you like.
I don't have a fifth one, though, so it can't be a "Five Things" fic.