michelel72 (michelel72) wrote,
michelel72
michelel72

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The runaround

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri— "This is the veterinary clinic." I need to know what to do. "We don't take wildlife; you'll need to call this number."

The bird is trying to stand and can't. It's listing. Its head is twisted oddly.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. "Please leave a message." Message left.

Ring. Ring. What would you do with an injured bird, friend? Brief discussion. Go to the emergency vet? Do they take wildlife? Even if they'll only euthanize, I just don't want the bird to suffer, but what I need are instructions from someone, somewhere. Voicemail message beep, with never any incoming call notice.

"Call Deb X at this number or Ally Y at this number for help and what to do."

It's still trying to stand. Should I put it in a towel-lined box or something? Birdseed, water?

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached the random wildlife center. We're not open. Our hours are seven to four." It's evening. "We do this, that, and the other. We can do this but not this. Don't come here without an appointment. Don't try to find us without an appointment. You're not allowed to do this other thing with wildlife. It's baby bird season from month blee to month bloo." This one's an adult. "Measure the tail to tell the age. Baby bird this baby bird that baby bird the other, do this don't do that baby bird. Do not give Brand X food, Brand Y food, Brand Z food, foo food, bar food, baz food, yak food, llama food, or this other food. The only food you can give, if you absolutely have to, is mashed berry by tweezer. Do not give water. Baby birds can aspirate water. Predators might try to eat baby birds, so do not attempt to restore baby birds to their nest even if the parents are around. Follow our instructions instead. You can call us when we're open. We won't return calls until then. Baby bird blah —"

Movements are weaker.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached the other random wildlife center. We're currently closed. Our hours are ten to two. If you need immediate assistance, call Tufts Something-or-other at this number. You can leave us a message, but we won't call you back until tomorrow."

Very weak.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached the Tufts wildlife whatever. We are currently closed." Apparently wildlife never get injured off-hours. "If you have a pet or own an animal in distress, call our other department. We cannot do something-or-other. Do not drop off wildlife. If you have a life-threatening emergency, call that same small-pet number we mentioned before. If you want to blah blah —

Full-body stiffening.

Ring. Ring. Ring. "You have reached Tufts emergency whatever. If you have a large animal, press one to speak to blah blah. If you have a small pet in distress, bring it in. We're located at blah blah blah." Slight twitching. Do you even take wildlife, even if it's off-hours? Who the hell gives instructions on what the hell to do? "There is an automatic $150 fee to see any pet. For directions to our facility, press two." Slightly more movement. "To discuss billing and repayment options, press three. If you need to speak to someone, press zero to —

"Operator. Well, you could bring it in. How far away are you? Oh, yes, that's about an hour away. Oh, it's stopped moving and isn't breathing anymore? Well, we don't take deceased animals." As if I couldn't figure that out.
Okay, I'm pissed off here. I had to place six calls and deal with five voicemail systems, wasting how much damn time, when all I needed to know was if there was anything humane I could do for an animal in distress. Did it never occur to any of these people to front-load the off-hours contact info, or instructions for non-baby birds? Did it never occur to anyone that time might fucking matter? Do they think people really want to stand around watching an animal slowly asphyxiate (I'm presuming) while they can do absolutely goddamn nothing but listen to one completely useless recorded message after another while crying over their own futility?

Wildlife rescue my ass.

Originally posted at Dreamwidth | Comment | comment count unavailable comments
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